“All you have is your Fire, and the place you need to reach.”
Some days I wish I could run away.
Run far away, somewhere in nature, by the mountains, live in a small cabin gather woods for fire, wear thick wool jumpers, wake up at sunset, write , grow a vegetable garden and bathe my body into a river.
I wish I could bathe in a river right now. I wish it could wash it all away: my fears, my expectations, my desires and my hopes.
I wish I could come out of the river like a flying bird – free to be herself, to fly the skies, to provide for her babies and to fulfill the duty nature brought me here to fulfill..
The problem with Free spirits?
It’s very hard to put them back into little boxes once they’ve got a taste for ‘the big world’, for freedom, for being themselves and expressing themselves.
That’s also the ‘problem’ with consciousness. Once you get a taste of how great, and how much potential, and how much happiness you can bring to other people just by being yourself, it’s very hard not to be yourself.
It’s very hard to survive without prayer, without meditation, without being of use, without trying to walk gently the earth and leave something that will survive your frail body.
It’s very hard to deny your true self once you get a taste for all that you’re capable of doing. Small talk becomes useless. Gossiping becomes un-attractive when you understand everyone lives their life by their own rules.
The weight of the chances I never took weights more than all the mistakes I’ve ever made. I don’t have regrets, I try to learn from everything that comes my way, and try not to dwell on the unexpected that happened.
I dream of waking up one morning with an easy heart, open my windows, breath in the crisp air and feel it in my bones that I’m living on purpose, for a purpose.
I dream of waking up to a greater love rooted in my soul, that will envelop everything I do, everything I stand for and everything I am.
I dream of running bare-foot in the grass, of swimming naked in rivers, and digging my fingers into the dirt that we came from.
I dream of Freedom. Not being free from someone or something else.
Just being free. Free to live a life that I think is right. Living a life that I feel is right and living a life at peace with myself and others.
Because I realise now, to change the world we have to change ourselves and the way we think about ourselves and our lives. It’s very easy to put aside all these things that we’ve dreamt about, all these good and positive things and get caught up in the ‘daily struggle’ – chasing pay checks to make it from a month to the next, buying nice things to flash around at the flashy parties we’ll go over the weekend, drinking the strongest alcoholic drinks to fog our brain and soul.
It’s very, very easy to carry on doing that.
What’s harder is to sit and think, and ask ourselves if we are truly happy. It’s very hard to remember the little things that used to give us butterflies in our stomach. It is harder to remember when was the last time we felt Free.
I don’t think there is a right and a wrong way of living. But there is a way of living that is true to your soul and to what feels right in your heart. And that’s something I’ve been fighting a long time, something that I’m working towards.
I also think sharing our story, with all the good, bad and darkness, especially our wish for Freedom, may help others in their own search.
If we can’t all be liberators, let’s at least be Free Spirits, and hope that in our flight for a greater purpose, we’ll inspire others to let their own spirit birds fly.