I Feel / Inspiration

Happy Father’s Day.

To the fathers who contributed to our conceiving.

To the fathers who raised us.

The fathers who taught us how to ride a bike, fly a kite and held you tight through sickness and good times.

The fathers who showed up for graduations, parent meetings and school shows.

Happy Father’s Day to dads, daddies and dadas.

I’ve never had that. Any of the things above. I can’t even remember the last time my father told me he loved.

But I’ve learned a while back that is important to let go. And it’s also important to look ahead and forgive.

I’ve learnt that addiction runs in my family. I’ve learnt that addictions are the easy way down. They suck the life right out of your soul.

I’m also trying to learn how not to judge and to let go of the anger I’ve kept inside for so many years. And some days is easier than others. I’ve learnt (or tried to) not to place blame.

But today is bittersweet. And that’s okay. Life is bitter sometimes.

I think I need to wish Happy Father’s Day to the fathers who left, who broke down and lost their way. I would like to believe that in their own way, they did try. They did try to love us and hold us and heal us. It’s just that sometimes life gets messy and mean and dark.

But I choose to believe those dads loved us their own way once upon a time, and they looked at us with no remorse in their eyes and hearts. Once upon a time.

I decided to make a conscious effort to make sure that some day my children will have fathers, dads and dadas around to help them be better  people, people that will give them a steady foundation and show them a better way to live.

That’s why I am so thankful for this bunch of people that I surround myself today. This community that allowed me to be myself.

That’s why I always come back. That’s why I try to spend more time with them. That’s why I want to built a community. That’s why I loose nights over becoming a better human. That’s why I wake up early. To work on myself the way these people inspired me to do about five years ago.

Because I’ve got people to look up at now. People that are helping me find my true path. I like to think I’ve got few fathers in my life now. It took me a while, but I am there.

So I need to wish Happy Father’s Day to my spiritual dads, the men that help me find my soul.

Thank you for believing in me.

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