That must be my greatest skill. I could spend long hours, sometimes days inside my head, running through events that have happened and decisions that I have made.
‘Have I really made the right decision?’; ‘What if that’s not actually what I want to do?’; ‘I should have not said that.’
Making big life-changing decisions is always scary. That’s why most of us never take that step, we never end a relationship that is not making us happy, a job that is nowhere near what we want to do, we don’t say what’s on our mind because we’re scared not to hurt the people around us.
And when we fit into that pattern, and we try not to upset people, it makes us happy in the moment, because we think we’re good people. But all the ‘niceness’ piles up and starts eating us from inside. Why?
Well I think that happens because we forget to listen to our souls, we shut down the person that we’re meant to be somewhere inside by fooling ourselves with the idea that we’re doing the right thing.
I think ‘the right thing to do’ should never stop us from staying true to ourselves. Of course, there are exceptions from the rule, and the fact that you need to stay true to your soul and your dreams doesn’t mean you don’t care about the people around you, or that you have stop doing things that you’re supposed to do.
It means finding your voice and sharing your truth with everyone, in a kind and understanding way. Not everyone will understand your reasoning behind some of your decisions, but that’s not what we should be looking for.
Giving up the past, the what ifs and the fear is not easy. It’s a damn scary thing to do! But I’ve learned that once you make a decision that felt right in your heart, you have to trust the process.
If it works out, you carry on from there and your path will be more clear. If it doesn’t work out, you let it go, dust yourself off and try again.
That’s where true beauty lies. In the moments when we’re reminded we are small and vulnerable human beings, and there will be times when mistakes will be made, and times when good decisions were made.
And I think that happens to remind us that this journey is far more important than the final destination.